A Journey Through My First Poetry Collection

The Artist’s Dilemma: Falling Out of Love with Your Work

As artists, it’s not uncommon to fall out of love with our work. We can lose passion for the creative process, feel detached from our writing, and even become critical of our own creations. Recently, I found myself in this very space—disconnected from my work and almost embarrassed by it. But when I decided to journey through my first poetry collection, something remarkable happened: I fell in love with it all over again.

Revisiting the Past

For the longest time, I avoided my book like the plague. Despite the compliments I received, I was convinced they were mere politeness, not genuine praise. I promised myself that once I finished my second poetry collection, I would return to my first and fix all the mistakes. With a deep breath and a sense of dread, I finally opened the pages of Ruminative Words, ready to cringe at every line. Yet, as I read, I felt something unexpected: a growing appreciation for what I had created.

Seeing the Beauty in Cringe

While watching Young Sheldon, my comfort show, I came across a line that struck a chord with me: “If you don’t look back at your old work and feel like you could’ve done better, then you didn’t grow.” With this in mind, I was ready to face the cringe. I picked up Ruminative Words and started to read, initially cringing at some parts, wondering, “Why did I write that?” But as I continued, the cringe faded. I started to see the intentionality behind every word, every title, and every illustration. It was like reading a coming-of-age story—a reflection of my growth not only as a writer but as a person.

I wrote this collection during the most chaotic time of my teenage years. The world was in turmoil—COVID was spreading, protests against police brutality were taking place, the Me Too movement was amplifying voices against sexual violence, and I was just a teenager trying to navigate high school drama, friendships, and relationships. It was a lot to handle. Later on, I learned about Du Bois’s concept of double consciousness, which validated that what I was experiencing wasn’t just in my head. As the book progressed, my ideas matured, and my poems delved deeper into my struggles, reflecting a journey of faith, healing, and resilience.

Rediscovering Motivation

Two years have passed since I published this collection. It may not sound like much, but at 17-18 years old, those were pivotal years for me. Now, as I approach 21, rereading my work feels like a refreshing glimpse into my younger self—a reminder of why I started sharing my writing in the first place. It rekindled my motivation to keep writing, to continue sharing my experiences, and to push my work out into the world. I remembered why I wrote it in the first place: to create something relatable, something that could help others see that their challenges can be overcome.

Embracing Growth: Loving Your Work Again

Falling out of love with your work is a natural part of the creative process, but it doesn’t have to be the end of the story. It’s important to revisit it with fresh eyes and an open heart. You might just fall in love with it all over again, and in doing so, reignite the passion that first drove you to create.

Now, I invite you to join me on this journey. Whether you’ve already experienced Ruminative Words or are discovering it for the first time, I encourage you to fall in love with it as I did. Let the poems transport you back to your own teenage years or, if you’re in them now, find solace in the pages knowing that what seems overwhelming today may not hold the same weight in just a couple of years.

Life changes rapidly, and so do we. Our struggles, while significant in the moment, have a way of evolving with time, offering us new perspectives and lessons. My poetry collection captures a snapshot of my life during an incredibly formative time, and revisiting it has reminded me of the power of reflection and growth.

So, take this opportunity to revisit your own past or to gain insights if you’re navigating those challenging years right now. Remember, growth often comes from revisiting where we’ve been and understanding how far we’ve come. Ruminative Words is more than just a collection of poems—it’s an invitation to reflect, to grow, and to find beauty in your journey, no matter where you are along the way.

Purchase your copy of my latest poetry collection here

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Happy listening, reading, and sharing😃