Mid Animation

I walked in the room, my hands trying to balance my chest and my necklace calming myself, not really knowing what to expect. The first time I found myself in such a situation, entering a room with a lifeless body, the air was thick with a distinctive scent. Since then, I had associated that smell with death. As I stepped into the room, I took a deep breath through my nose, fully anticipating that familiar odor. However, to my surprise, there was none. The room smelled uneventful. As there wasn’t even anyone there.

Silence, silence echoed, slightly interrupted by the nurse’s hushed explanation of postmortem care. She looked unchanged from the day before, her eyes refusing to stay closed, head tilted toward the window, arms crossed as they usually were. Her gaze fixated on an empty space, frozen in the moment. It looked as if she had been paused mid animation.

The day before she had been screaming out. The nurse referred to it as terminal agitation. She was down to her bones and wasn’t expected to make it through the night, but she did. “She’s there, waiting to be picked up”. Her family had left her side. Sadness aired around them, but I couldn’t ignore the contradiction of their laughter from the night before.

The world didn’t stop. Not when she was screaming. Not when the family was grieving. Not when she passed. Not after.

I walked in with my heart pounding, while hers had come to a standstill. Her husband had been with her every day by her bedside. Feeding her, loving her, keeping her company. I wonder if he will soon go too.

Her eyes refused to close, rigid, determined, but I’m not sure for what. In the days leading up to this moment, she had been out of herself, out of her surroundings. Her spirit had already departed, leaving behind only the shell of her body…

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